DATING in Medellin:
What You Need To Know About Tinder
Tinder is a topic worth talking about. There’s fun to be had – but DON’T allow yourself to be victimized. Schemers are out there, good at exploiting men when they’re most vulnerable.
By Kaveh Paymayesh
In my article on safety in Medellin, I proclaim that the city is indeed sufficiently safe. A critical caveat does exist, however:
Medellin is dangerous for those moving in shady circles. Likewise, being overly hedonistic; chasing women and drugs – yeah, that can get you into trouble.
It shouldn’t surprise anybody then that Tinder is a great marketplace for PAPAYA. There are a growing number of men that have been preyed upon as a result of their Tinder engagements.
And I get it; this is understandable. Paisa women are incredibly alluring. The vast majority are wonderful. Yet, many are also desperate and ready to scheme.
For this reason, it really pays to be informed, prepared and vigilant. That’s why I have chucked together this article. Too many men have been victimized. We can avert that from happening. This is my guide to Tinder in Medellin!
Let’s cover the basics; the 101 to Tinder in Medellin as a GRINGO.
Be aware: the lay of the land
You need to be aware of how things really are in Medellin. Colombian culture is strikingly different to that of the US. Those that don’t have their cultural bearings are much more likely to be preyed upon.
The dating culture that dominates the US is not really so much of a thing here in Colombia. It is the fast-paced approach to life in the western world that allows for Tinder to be so successful.
Quick phone swiping is very much compatible with our hectic, time-efficient lifestyles.
The Colombian approach to dating is affected by cultural differences:
Fast-paced vs slow-paced lifestyles, individualism vs collectivism, the impact of religion, family influences, economics…
With fundamental differences in all these areas, it should be no surprise that dating is different in Medellin.
In fact, it’s only in Colombia where I’ve met women that still do not know what Tinder is! Furthermore, many Paisas I’ve asked tell me that they’ve never utilized dating apps.
Also, allow me to be clear:
There are of course exceptions – many people in Medellin DO use Tinder just as many Americans DO NOT!
Despite these cultural differences, Medellin is a big city and in turn, experiences a more hectic pace of life than other parts of Colombia. Also, Medellin is one of the more hyper-sexualized cities I have been to.
This is partially why Tinder in Medellin is growing in popularity. This becomes pretty obvious when going to smaller cities such as Manizales where dating apps are much less used.
All this is to say that: yes, people do use Tinder here, but it’s still not the norm.
Romance tends to flourish via networking. It’s a more organic process.
Also, in Colombia, when looking to hook up, it is normal to visit a motel. People don’t bring lovers back to their homes. It’s just not something they do.
There are multiple reasons for that:
- Colombians typically live at home with their family (until marriage).
- Colombian society is shaped by Roman Catholicism. Doing it in the house where your family is going to be? Nope. Definitely not for Tinder flings.
And finally, we cannot ignore the impact of economics…
Colombians are no strangers to economic hardships. Now, with the residual impact of lockdowns, inflation, mass-Venezuelan migration, it is a tough time for many. People are grinding.
Surprisingly, I see that many westerners coming here are unperceptive of that reality.
Understand that if you’re coming from an economically developed country, you are going to be seen as high-value material. Not necessarily by the contents of your character but rather by the contents of your wallet.
You need to recognize where you stand within society. It’s better to realize sooner rather than be disillusioned later.
Have the right expectations
I’m fed up with hearing that there aren’t ‘good girls’ in Medellin.
I’m calling BULL on that one.
Since arriving in 2016, I’ve noticed a growing number of men complain about the scarcity of women suitable for long-term relationships.
The reality is that there are plenty of amazing people here in Medellin – and that includes women.
You just need to know where to look. For the cultural reasons highlighted above, Tinder is not the place to look for long-term relationships. It CAN happen – one of my friends is married to a Paisa that he met on Tinder.
It’s certainly not the norm. Not many Colombian couples I know of met via any dating app.
As mentioned above, the ‘best’ girls in Medellin (the ones you’d want a long-term relationship with) are quite hard to find on Tinder.
Don’t expect to catch keepers on dating applications. Have that in mind so that you aren’t disappointed.
In my experience, you’ll find more ‘working class’ women using Tinder. This can increase your exposure to danger…
Yes – that is a generalization that may get me in trouble. But there’s a lot of men getting hurt out there. We’re covering a serious issue.
Working-class women are generally more desperate, and therefore more likely to have ulterior motives for using Tinder.
Don’t believe me, ask some locals…
The potential risks
Let’s talk about the different outcomes of being reckless whilst using Tinder in Medellin:
Nothing
For the majority of people using Tinder in Medellin nothing sinister occurs (even for those that are clumsy).
Exploitation
There are many women in Medellin known as 'interesadas'. They are interested in milking you like a cash cow. Did someone say 'papi'?
Beaten up
Oh... she didn't tell you about her jealous boyfriend? Be careful - I've heard some crazy stories.
Drugged & robbed
The worst outcome for men using Tinder in Medellin. Heard of scopolamine?
Outcome #1 - Nothing happens!
Although my aim with this post is to impart some much-needed caution; the majority of men using Tinder in Medellin have no problems with their safety.
By this, I mean that the majority of Tinder users are not getting drugged, robbed etc.
In my personal experiences of using the app, I have had mostly positive experiences. Even as a naive 21-year-old, I never managed to land myself in trouble. I never did find a long-term partner. On the other hand, I was admittedly quite goofy and awkward at that time.
I also know of some individuals that are going on multiple dates a week with great success. Kudos…
Outcome #2 - You get played like a fiddle
In Colombia, a country with major economic constraints for much of its people, a phenomenon has been established…
Mujeres interesadas – translated as interested women. This is another term for a gold digger.
Hey, you can’t blame them. In fact, many men come to Colombia knowing what the deal is. Many relationships are formed with the agreement of a bi-beneficial experience. Many men, especially older, are willing to provide the economic resources that their lady needs or desires, in exchange for affection and ‘love’.
There’s nothing wrong with that! Everybody wins. It’s normal, if not overtly transactional.
On the other hand – too many men get fooled into this position, believing that the affection they’re receiving is sincere.
They’ll be played like a fiddle, receiving unusual amounts of affection. Before they know it, they’re being asked financial favours all over the place.
This is all premeditated. Understand that these individuals have an agenda. They are drawing upon your resources and likely don’t care about you.
This has actually happened to me. I was left heartbroken. Again, I was young and naive.
Learn from me so you don’t get hurt!
Be wary if she asks you for money:
- For her time
- For her family
- For her travel expenses
These are all red flags. Nobody should be asking you for your money. Not on a Tinder date.
Outcome #3 - The jealous boyfriend
Infidelity is common in Medellin and Colombia in general. I’ve heard more than one horror story of a foreigner provoking the fury of a jealous boyfriend.
When using Tinder in Medellin, just be aware that some women will go on dates with you, even when they already have a boyfriend.
It sucks, you can’t be blamed if you’re ignorant. But hey, try convincing that to the angry Paisa chasing you down the street. Seriously, be aware that this can happen! It may not be common, but most disasters aren’t.
Outcome #4 - Getting drugged and robbed
This is by far the most sinister of all outcomes. By now, most of us are well aware of scopolamine, otherwise known as Devil’s Breath, or the “zombie drug”.
This drug has the capacity to render its users completely docile. Under its spell, you lose your free will. You are at the whim of your captors’ suggestions, whatever they may be. Even scarier is that you appear normal on the exterior.
You typically retain your ability to function, to remember your pin-code at the ATM, for example.
Too much, or an adverse reaction and you could slip into respiratory failure; dead.
If lucky enough to have survived, you’ll likely be plagued by complete amnesia surrounding the event. Victims often report lingering neurological and psychological damage.
It doesn’t take much to be cast under its spell either: the most common means of administration is through the consumption of spiked drinks.
However, assailants are becoming increasingly savvy. In Bogota (2021) a victim was drugged in a taxi after being offered hand sanitiser.
Scopolamine usage has increased in recent years, in line with increasing tourism in Medellin and Colombia.
As is often the case, data in Colombia can be hard to come by. However, we know that in 2015, there was a 133% increase in scopolamine related thefts within Medellin.
I am pretty certain that cases have since gone up. Let’s err on the side of caution here. Foreign inflow has expanded significantly. With that, so have the number of men giving PAPAYA!
To be clear: the majority of victims in Medellin are young men, perceived to be wealthy. That’s you, reading this!
This is a tried and tested business model. Outside of bars and clubs, Tinder is the most prevalent means by which victims are getting “scoped”.
Don't be swingin' your papaya
What you'll see below is an extract from an expat group. This scenario is all too common: a horny male letting his wits slide in exchange for gratification. Tinder is a marketplace for PAPAYA.
As I’ve said, Paisas are absolutely stunning, perhaps that’s why so many men are duped, fooled, exploited. It happens to many that use Tinder in Medellin.
Unfortunately, scamming is somewhat of a profession in Colombia. Poverty leads to desperation and horny men are very easy to capitalize on. We’re making it way too easy for ourselves to get scoped…
Despite the known risks, many still choose to ignore them in their sexual/relationship endeavours. I guess we truly are blinded by desire.
I want you guys to come to Medellin, there is so much to enjoy and despite all the risks, I still consider it my favourite city on Earth. Here’s my take on what to look out for to stay safe:
She wants to bring a friend
A duo is capable of inflicting a lot more damage. There is no reason that she would need to bring a friend to a date. If she requests this, then be aware that danger may be lurking.
She wants to meet at a specific venue
If she is persistent on meeting at a certain venue, it could spell trouble.
She's fawning over you
If she's gushing over you, or showing too much interest, too quickly - BE AWARE. If it seems too good to be true, then it likely is. If you're 20 years her senior and/or she is clearly more attractive, assume something is up.
"Sí, papi"
Mi amor, papi, precioso, vida... If she's liberally calling you these things, then it is a strong indicator she is INTERESADA...
Hyper-sexualization
Her profile pictures are overly provocative - this is called bait. It's used to lure in men. It works well, doesn't it? Again, this is how so many men get sucked into danger.
She wants you to go a comuna
Do not do this. It is too dangerous.
Finally, here are my tips on what to do and what NOT to do during your Tinder date:
Never leave drinks unattended
Never. If you have to go to the toilet, you know what to do (bring your drink with you).
Don't take her back to yours
Guys, this is called SLIPPING. Why would you take her to your safe space? There are motels, that's where Colombians go. They are inexpensive and demonstrate that you possess basic mental acuity.
Let her know
Let her know that a friend is aware of your location. That'll make anyone think twice.
Tell your front-of-house
Tell your receptionist that you're going on a date. It could save your butt.
Be conscious of her phone usage
Is she on her phone a lot? Hmm, that's not very becoming, especially on a date. I'd want to know who she is talking to.
Try to learn Spanish
Chances are she won't know much English. Without language, how much can you sincerely connect? I'd be questioning the authenticity of any relationship where we can't communicate. Also, knowing some Spanish will convey awareness and competence within Colombia.
Most important: have FUN
I know, I come across as a real fun guy, right? It’s important to transmit the seriousness of this though. Tinder represents some of the greatest dangers for normal men visiting Medellin.
With each passing year, more of us are getting screwed over. Even worse, I see a lot of victims blaming. Yes, some of us have it coming. But, we’re men at the end of the day. These crooks know how to feed upon our greatest weakness: women!
Heed this advice, embrace the fear, because you know what? Once you’ve bestowed this knowledge into your brain you can go out there and have an amazing time.
And yes, there’s a lot of fun to be had. As they say, the greater the risk the greater the reward.
If you know somebody that could benefit from this advice then please do share this article. Or even just inform them yourselves; whatever it may be, let’s take care of each other out here!
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