I Got Robbed in Provenza, El Poblado
By Kaveh Paymayesh
Ay Ave Maria, after 7 years of coming back and forth to Medellin, it finally happened… I was added to the city’s lengthy list of crime victims. My Samsung S10+ was robbed while I was in Provenza with my cousin and his friend. Not only did I give papaya but the headache ensuing from the loss of my phone was a test of character. In this article, I will share my learning experience and ultimately how, if at all, this has changed my stance on Medellin.
I got robbed in Provenza; Medellin's tourist powerhouse but also an area of escalating petty crime
On the 3rd of March, a group of thieves stole my phone while I was in Provenza with my cousin and his friend. My guests were here for a 4-day vacation and wanted to see for themselves, the neighbourhood revered by so many travellers and artists. For this reason, I ended up in a place I seldom visit.
Despite being the city’s biggest hub for tourism, Provenza and the surrounding areas (Calle 10 & Parque Lleras) have deteriorated significantly in recent years. There are more prostitutes, beggars, drug dealers and nefarious characters than ever before, all going about their grind.
The same week I was robbed, the alcalde announced unprecedented measures to guarantee the safety and integrity of Parque Lleras. As has been recently implemented in Plaza Botero, Lleras will be secured by a police perimeter with transit controlled by entry checkpoints.
Details of the robbery
Here is my best account of the events that transpired. Thanks to my cousin who not only saw the event but audaciously took photos of it.
How and where it happened
We were a group of three partying in Provenza’s Perro Negro nightclub into the early hours of Sunday morning. At 3:30am, we left the club, adequately drunk and took an immediate right to traverse the side-streets of Provenza. This is a well-known pathway that follows the water stream downhill past carreras 35 and 36. It is a pretty path populated by establishments and thick bamboo.
We followed this route past the outdoor gym until we got to the 37 Park bar; a popular joint recognized for its leafy outdoor seating next to the waterfall. It was at this secluded point that I was approached, groped, and robbed by a transvestite.
The brevity of it; everything happened fast. Too quick for my inebriated brain. At the time, I did not even realize my phone had been robbed (and yes, this was a robbery because force was used – technically, I was sexually harassed).
Confused and witless, I noticed my phone was gone some 15 seconds later, only after perceiving a gut-dropping vacuum in my pocket. In a state of panic, I alerted my company to the loss of my Samsung.
I was far too slow to react to the grope and even slower to come to reason. It wasn’t obvious to me that my phone had just been nicked. I was thinking it may have been somewhere in the club.
I approached the person who groped me and asked them if they had seen my phone (LOL).
Of course, he told me that he hadn’t (claro que no amor). At this point though it was becoming more obvious that I was a victim of crime. I told my cousin that I was certain this individual had it, to which, he informed me that he saw them put TWO hands on me. For reference, I was walking slightly behind both my cousin and his friend when this all happened (I was closest to the gym side of the alley).
I did not feel the second hand; these thieves are remarkably adept. I was too distracted by my scrotum being squeezed to realize there was a second hand pinching a 6.4-inch phone out of my pocket.
This individual did not act alone and was in a group of 3-5 people. According to my cousin, he also spotted a second suspect; an attractive woman who also approached me before I was groped. My cousin supposedly saw her brisking out of the alley and taking a right after the public gym. He claims not to have seen my phone though and for this reason did not inform me at the time it happened.
I, stupidly, confronted the transvestite and told them that I would call the police if they didn’t return my phone.
At this point, we were at the bottom of the alley on Carrera 37. My cousin alerted me to two young men staring us down and reaching around in their pants. We decided to create some distance and call the police on 1-2-3 using my cousin’s phone.
Getting the police involved (calling 1-2-3)
To the credit of the police, they arrived in minutes (even if it felt a lot longer). With my hazy memory, I remember seeing one police truck and at least 1 motorbike. After trying my best to explain the situation, they immediately detained the main suspect (who groped me) and one young male. They were cuffed and placed onto the back of the truck whilst the police continued to question us. I was asked multiple times for details of the accomplice who fled the scene. I couldn’t remember any and so relied on the accounts provided by my cousin.
Things were messy at this point, the transvestite kept calling me profanities (gonnorrhea, hijueputa, etc.) from the back of the truck all while the cops were questioning me. The officer was assuring me that this ‘man’ most likely stole my phone. With everything going on and the reality sinking it, it was quite consoling to see this officer giving the crook a hard time.
Delivered to the police station
After around 10 minutes, the police gave us a lift to Manila police station where they dropped off the two suspects. The same officer that was assuring me earlier showed me messages from the suspect’s phone of somebody who was desperate to get in contact with them. He then reassured us one last time that my phone would be recovered before dropping us off (in their shiny 2022 Chevrolet Colorado pickup truck) at our Airbnb.
On the way home we traversed Calle 10. On the radio, I heard officers relaying message of yet another robbery in the area. This is not an uncommon event!
Once home safe and sound, we tried to lift our spirits before going to bed. I was not looking forward to waking up sober and without my phone the next morning.
Returning to the police station the next morning
The next morning, I returned to the police station in Manila where I was told that I’d almost definitely never see my phone again. I deduced that the suspect was released soon after going to the station as there was nobody there matching my description by the morning.
It was a crap result but ultimately one that I expected.
The aftermath of losing my phone; a true headache
Fortunately, I prepared for this scenario by bringing a spare phone with me to Colombia – call it prudency. The next morning, without a SIM, I turned on my new Google Pixel 3A, and after staring at an app-less home screen, realized how buggered I was.
Access to my numerous banking applications was impossible without 2-step verification involving my old SIM card. I woke up on Sunday 4th, without access to my finances, friends, or family.
By the 7th (3 days later), I had successfully blocked my phone, ordered a replacement SIM to my home in the UK, got a new Colombian phone number and recovered access to all my apps. It was a precarious and relentless endeavour that tested my stoicism. There were a lot of setbacks throughout the process.
In the subsequent days, I felt a mix of emotions from despair, anger and disgust. Now though, I can look back more detached from the experience. It already feels like a distant memory.
Learn from my many mistakes
I should not have been wandering the streets in the early morning (even worse in Provenza). Not much good ever happens after 3am. I was also increasing my odds by speaking English and being witless as a result of alcohol.
I allowed a travesties to approach and grope me. I’d like to think I’d never let that happen sober. I should also not have confronted them or let them know I was going to call the police. Despite all the safety advice I have imparted on this blog, I still made stupid mistakes. It can happen to any of us when we get too comfortable.
Beware of the dangers, especially in Poblado's Zona Rosa
El Poblado is the most affluent and touristic sector of Medellin. Many believe that is therefore also the safest. Despite the heavy presence of police, the crime statistics show that El Poblado is one of the worst sectors of the city for theft and armed robbery.
After corresponding with a representative of Sistema de Información para la Seguridad y la Convivencia (SISC) I was given an official crime report for years 2019-22. If you want access, contact me on my socials (top of page).
Each year between 2019-22, El Poblado has been one of the 3 districts most affected by robberies. El Centro has each year reported the highest numbers of theft.
Contending for 2nd place have been Poblado & Laureles. In 2021, Poblado exceeded Laureles but has since been overtaken again in 2022. On average, Poblado reports the 3rd highest number of hurtos (theft & robbery) in Medellin.
There are nefarious groups operating in the area and they look for targets that are ‘giving papaya’.
If you look on Reddit or within Facebook groups, you’ll find other tales of individuals being pickpocketed when allowing somebody too close. Often, the victim will be distracted by touch. This is when the thief (cosquillero) will dispossess you whatever is in your pocket.
Calling the police, as I discovered, is ultimately useless. These cosquilleros will quickly pass the stolen items on to an accomplice. At this point, they have already outwitted the Colombian justice system as there is nothing that can be done.
Tips regarding theft (Medellin safety tips)
1) Never resist robbery. Do not confront thieves. Don’t do as I did. The data tells us that robberies turn violent when the victim resists. I was lucky. It’s not worth it…
2) Always be mindful of what’s in your pockets. When transiting through busy areas, make a habit of having your hands in your pocket.
3) Having your backpack on your chest. Sounds extreme but I often see Colombians sporting their bag the opposite way round. It’s recommended in busy places.
4) I recommend waist/hip/belt bags. A few months ago I decided to buy a cheap fanny bag. Instead of having items in my pockets they are now secured by a zip. This gives peace of mind and I couldn’t recommend it enough. My ordeal could have been avoided.
5) Being drunk in public makes you a target. Thieves operate throughout the different Zona Rosas of the city, especially in Poblado (such as in my case). They know that inebriated individuals are clumsier. When leaving a club, if it’s quiet, get a cab or Uber ASAP.
6) Don’t acknowledge sex workers. Word has it that among the working ladies of the Zona Rosa in Poblado there are some ruthless individuals. My cousin was catcalled and even barked at when traversing Calle 10. They’re not all bad but there’s definitely shady business going on in those circles. After experiencing how quickly somebody can approach me and pinch my phone, I am very cautious of approaching strangers (especially sex workers).
7) Have a spare phone secured at home. I knew I might need it; my prudency came in handy. Call it the Medellin Provision.
8) Don’t take all your cards out with you. I can’t imagine anything worse than not having access to your finances because all your cards got robbed in one fell swoop. Have something you can fall back on in case of theft/robbery.
9) Don’t let your guard down in El Poblado or Provenza. Despite being touted as the best and safest parts of the city, they are where you’re most likely to be robbed.
10) Walk with purpose. Walking with conviction makes it harder for criminals to engage you. On the night I had my phone stolen, I was dawdling behind my cousin and friend. The thief took advantage and could close the gap.
11) Keep your head on a swivel. In Medellin, threats can emerge within seconds and unless you’ve eyes on the back of your head, you won’t know. Potential criminals are going to observe your vigilance and are more likely to pick easier prey.
12) Beware of travesties in the Zona Rosa of Poblado. I was cautioned by the police to be careful of them as they are associated with scopolamine and robberies.
13) Make sure to not bring too much money with you – but make sure to have at least some. I’ve always wondered what might happen if I have no money to give an armed robber. It’s a scary notion.
14) Don’t carry your passport with you. It is far too hard and stressful to replace. Bring a photocopy with another form of ID such as a driver’s license.
15) Be extra careful if out alone at night (especially if clubbing). One target is easier than three. Even though I got robbed while in a group, my cousin was able to provide key details and provide support.
16) WATCH YOUR DRINK. Poblado is a hotspot for scopolamine administration. It is most often poured into drinks, with criminals able to spike them in a second’s lapse of attention. Have your drinks with you at ALL times.
17) Don’t get deluded. Don’t trust women that are overly eager in you. They are likely to have ulterior motives as this is uncharacteristic behaviour.
18) Don’t buy drugs off the street. Especially in the Zona Rosas (party zones). There are many drug dealers around Calle 10, Lleras and Provenza. They are all in the loop regarding theft and I wouldn’t trust them as far as I can throw them. They know who is who.
MethodMedellin articles on crime & safety.
Medellin is a thriving hotspot for tourism and nomads. However, safety has long been a primary concern. Here is a collection of articles I have written on the matter:
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